shock
remember that mom i wrote about several weeks ago, the one that i ignored at our homeschool group? the one who sat next to me and nursed her toddler and i turned my head and tried to hide my tears? well, i had been feeling like i needed to tell her my story. i can’t stand that she doesn’t know. i felt annoyed that she thought i had only four kids. it wasn’t that i wanted to chat with her about it but i needed her to know that i wasn’t who she thought i was. i wanted her to know that i DESERVED to be aloof and bitchy.
so at the last lake day, i sat next to her and told her about Matthew. i told her that my weird behavior when she nursed her toddler wasn’t because i disapproved but because i had been thinking about the baby that i would never nurse.
WELL… she put her hand on her toddler’s head and looked right into my eyes and said, “Wait, i have to tell you something. This little guy had an identical twin brother. He died shortly after birth. So I understand. You don’t owe me any apologies.”
i was in such SHOCK that here right in front of me was another dead baby mama. she has been the focus of so much of my resentment lately and here all this time, she has been grieving her OWN dead baby. i clung to her the rest of the day. we traded stories, tears and even jokes. so much time went by and i was hardly aware of anything else. i have been searching for a real life friend and i found one in the most unexpected place.
Matthew's name in the sand on a beach in Australia
Lachlan's Mum said,
August 18, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Wow, that is amazing! Just truly amazing.
Shannon said,
August 18, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Wow, i’m so glad you shared your story with her and found so much more.
lostforwords said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:47 pm
That’s great that you found someone you can relate with who lives near you. Here’s hoping this will be the beginning of a life-long friendship
There is a woman who lives near me, who after hearing about us, opened up to me about her own struggles with losing a child years ago. I feel so much peace after talking to her, knowing that she really, truly understands this whole process.
andilea said,
August 19, 2009 at 2:45 am
It’s amazing the people you can find and the friends you can make when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your true feelings and your personal stories. ((hugs))
Emily said,
August 19, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I am praising God right now! I’ll bet that other mom needed you that day as much as you needed her. What an wonderful, unexpected blessing.
((hugs!))
Steph said,
August 19, 2009 at 4:37 pm
PRAISE GOD! Oh how He knew you needed this, there was a reason you felt you needed to tell her. Oh I am so glad, I pray this is a connection that will help you both travel this journey! (((hugs)))
Inanna said,
August 21, 2009 at 1:48 am
OMG! I have goosebumps. Wow. wow wow wow. I’m so glad you found each other. Isn’t it amazing what happens when we reach out? I’m so glad you did!
Sara Clement said,
August 21, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Can’t stop crying. I am overcome with how much pain and tears are in this world. This is a place that I never could have dreamed was so common…..IT IS SO HIDDEN!!!! I am so angry that I never knew life could be so cruel! (And believe me…I have had my share of devastating experiences!) I want to scream to the universe “WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS??? WHAT KIND OF ORDER MAKES SUCH CHAOS??? WHAT THE F%&#(!!!!”
Sending so much love your way….how painful…and beautiful.. your story is.